Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
