We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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