WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
