It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
