pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
