she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
