I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
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