3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
