If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
