I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hotel room ftw
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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