Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
