dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
