break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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