Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That's intense
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
