um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
