I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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