The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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