If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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