party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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