OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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