ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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