I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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