ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
