Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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