can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
