I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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