I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize