It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize