Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
