I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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