we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
