You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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