...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
