Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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