Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
