so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
