My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do vagina's smell?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
