i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
