Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
