Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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