I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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