I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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