it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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