highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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