I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My feet surprised me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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