his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
