420 ftw
She is in my trunk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
