Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
