these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
