If that was your dad, he is hot
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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