i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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