just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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