I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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