I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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