Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's the barista slut.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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