kristin has been a bad kristin
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
