did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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