he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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