in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
