No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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