yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
