hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.