a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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