my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.