Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
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So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges