sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
