My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo