i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
