i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
