: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
