My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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