turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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