This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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