Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
As shirtless as possible
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Randomize
