Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
