Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
