That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
