we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
