I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
