it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
