I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
